It has become harder and harder for me to blog. I just do not see the reason for talking or expressing myself too much anymore. If you just don't get it, fuck you. If I have to explain it or myself to you, fuck you again. I know it is probably not the healthiest thing but I really do not give a shit.
I am so tired. No one cares and so I have run out of reasons to care. There is only one reason I have left to care and if you know me you know what that reason is. MAEGAN.
I have become so tired of being the person that everyone sees as that person that I have just lost interest in caring. It has come from a long line of no one giving a shit.
No one that knows me-knows me. Not one person, except MAEGAN. No one knows how smart I am. My mom used to know. No one believes in anything I do. People used to call me the child prodigy and I used to hate it. People show a lot of pity for me when they find out what all the horrible things that happened to me when I was a kid, and I hate that. What I hate more than anything is that NO ONE in my life takes the time to really know me.
Lately, on a daily basis I find more to hate then I find to love. It used to be different. I have run out of reasons. I have run out of verbage.
I like this guy. He knows. Nothing. Now? Sounds familiar doesn't it?
I feel like I know this option. The ghosts are crawling on our skin. Can't undo what has been done. I feel like at any moment I could just cross to the other side. I feel as if I am on my way there...moments from the edge.
How can I pull anyone up on dry land when all I have is sinking sand. The trick ain't worth the time it buys. I'm sick of hearing my own lies. Loves a raven when it flies. Meet me on the other side?
It is ONE of the reasons why I love Supernatural so much. Yes, people...make your fun. But, death, hell, demons...these are real to me. These are intense. These things...for me...are what I can feel. When I see a man on a screen feel something as deep as these things...I feel in return.
Life is empty for me. I see one person after another who offers nothing but lie after lie. Empty after empty. Vastness after vastness of nothingness. The void inside of me is so deep. No one knows. People have come and gone and taken their piece and no one has bothered to leave anything behind.
He always want to know why I am so mad, but he never takes the time to see or notice the hole he has left. He only sees the anger he has left behind. I don't have the space to explain to him what he has done because he doesn't have the heart to understand. I see right through him. The minute I realized what he saw when he looked at me, I knew anytime was wasted time. It is sad really. I just hope it does not pass to my baby. It takes a lot of love these days to keep your heart from freezing.
You can't change the way people see you. It sucks really. They wear glasses. They see what they want to see. And when they make their judgment call, it sticks. No matter what. It just don't stop. Unless you have love. Love is a valiant virtue. Not too many people have it. You don't see it too often these days either. There is so much hate that Love is just hidden in between the cracks of it all.
And I am the one with no soul. One above and one below.
I am so tired. No one cares and so I have run out of reasons to care. There is only one reason I have left to care and if you know me you know what that reason is. MAEGAN.
I have become so tired of being the person that everyone sees as that person that I have just lost interest in caring. It has come from a long line of no one giving a shit.
No one that knows me-knows me. Not one person, except MAEGAN. No one knows how smart I am. My mom used to know. No one believes in anything I do. People used to call me the child prodigy and I used to hate it. People show a lot of pity for me when they find out what all the horrible things that happened to me when I was a kid, and I hate that. What I hate more than anything is that NO ONE in my life takes the time to really know me.
Lately, on a daily basis I find more to hate then I find to love. It used to be different. I have run out of reasons. I have run out of verbage.
I like this guy. He knows. Nothing. Now? Sounds familiar doesn't it?
I feel like I know this option. The ghosts are crawling on our skin. Can't undo what has been done. I feel like at any moment I could just cross to the other side. I feel as if I am on my way there...moments from the edge.
How can I pull anyone up on dry land when all I have is sinking sand. The trick ain't worth the time it buys. I'm sick of hearing my own lies. Loves a raven when it flies. Meet me on the other side?
It is ONE of the reasons why I love Supernatural so much. Yes, people...make your fun. But, death, hell, demons...these are real to me. These are intense. These things...for me...are what I can feel. When I see a man on a screen feel something as deep as these things...I feel in return.
Life is empty for me. I see one person after another who offers nothing but lie after lie. Empty after empty. Vastness after vastness of nothingness. The void inside of me is so deep. No one knows. People have come and gone and taken their piece and no one has bothered to leave anything behind.
He always want to know why I am so mad, but he never takes the time to see or notice the hole he has left. He only sees the anger he has left behind. I don't have the space to explain to him what he has done because he doesn't have the heart to understand. I see right through him. The minute I realized what he saw when he looked at me, I knew anytime was wasted time. It is sad really. I just hope it does not pass to my baby. It takes a lot of love these days to keep your heart from freezing.
You can't change the way people see you. It sucks really. They wear glasses. They see what they want to see. And when they make their judgment call, it sticks. No matter what. It just don't stop. Unless you have love. Love is a valiant virtue. Not too many people have it. You don't see it too often these days either. There is so much hate that Love is just hidden in between the cracks of it all.
And I am the one with no soul. One above and one below.
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