I am definitely not who I used to be. Part of me is happy about it and another is sad and confused. Today, someone expressed disgust with the thought of touching me. Then the other referenced a shoe bouncing off of me. Although I am sure he meant it would be due to the rubber of the shoe, nothing rang louder in my head than the UGLY voice. When I hear his voice everything goes silent and I become numb. Numb from the thought of how that changes so many things I once knew to be true. Before I turned 21 I was vibrant and a tom boy. I was drop dead gorgeous and knew it. I had no problem getting a man, much less a date. My only problem was the abundance of men in my life and what to do with them all. Now, the man who fathered my child . . . The man who I made a father (27 hours of natural labor might I add) doesn't even have a genuine interest in me.
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